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The Pakistani Cricket team's hotel burnt down last night.Police are still trying to establish who threw the match. He comes back with "Does the farmer know you've got out?" POLICE #1 While taking a routine vandalism report at a primary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoelace? Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. " ELDERLY While working for an organisation that delivers lunches to the elderly, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop? My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. " It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?

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The baby won't take it so she says, "Come on, eat it all up or I'll give it to this nice man here." Ten minutes later, the baby is still not feeding so she says again, "Eat it all up or I'll give it to this nice man here". The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in fashion sense. She replies "My boss and I played the lotto and we won again, so I bought it with my share of the winnings." Another week later, his wife comes home, driving a flaming red Ferrari.Lets just get our fingers out of our arses thinking that we humans are the centre of the universe. The IT industry must be back in the boom times if this entry is any indicator.Thought you might like this traditional South African sick note, only submitted today as you will see, so it is fresh. I wonder if it's his Mum's car that he borrowed hoping she wouldn't notice? When she enters the bathroom, she finds that there is barely enough water in the bath to cover the bath plug. " OPINIONS On the first day of school, a new starter handed his teacher a note from his mother.The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents..." KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.

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