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The idea to poll APW readers and ask how often they’re having sex with their partners was borne out of wanting to normalize questions about sex in general. A large number of the write in responses were caveats—either a “yes, but…” or “no, but…” response to explain why you felt the way you did.Since data analysis is one of my secret superpowers, I volunteered to dig into this one for the APW team. A smaller subset of responses were either in the middle or simply designated as “other” for ease of data analysis.I think my husband would probably like to have sex more—but if he wants that to happen, he also needs to be willing to have evening/going to bed sex, which seems like the most practical kind to me, especially to work in on a weekday, but which we never have because he falls asleep instantly.We also use condoms and natural family planning for birth control, so we don’t have (PIV) sex for a good week or so a month because we are extra cautious (although we do other things).We love making each other feel good and being so connected through sex, and sex still makes us feel like those giggly lovers who first hooked up. and found that he was more affected by our lack of sex than I was.We’re working on it, but it’s hard because we have different needs, plus my birth control affects my sex drive, plus both of us have fairly stressful jobs.We’ve now lived together for eight months and it’s a mostly-on-the-weekends thing (lots of late work nights during the week).

Add pregnancy and now a new baby to that and we’re definitely not getting busy the way we once did, but we have sex when we can and cuddle and kiss a lot to keep some intimacy alive.Almost all of the parent responses noted how hard it is to have regular sex while pregnant or with an infant in the house.Even when discussing issues with libido or other health problems, the comments noted how you’re still making it work with your partners, in whatever capacity you can.Since we mostly have sex on weekends, combining that with no period sex means that depending on the month, we could only have (PIV) sex two times, if those sex-blackout times fall during a weekend.We were very sexually active when we began dating, but my husband has an anxiety disorder and depression that became quite serious a year after we got together and require medication.

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