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The lesson: Spend time on your profile, and don't stress too much about your first e-mail! Be Direct When it comes to virtual dating, forget playing "hard to get." If someone you're interested in contacts you, it won't pay off to "casually" wait a few days to reply.

"If you play games and wait to get back to him, he may have already run off into the sunset with someone else," says Spira.

"If you don't have any phone chemistry, then it's unlikely that there will be a spark in person," says Spira. The Ideal First Date The perfect first date is a personal decision. "You can get a good feel for someone in 20 minutes," says Dr.

Gonzaga, "and since you both probably have to get back to work, there's a specified end time if the date doesn't work out." Spira prefers dinner dates because the extended length can give you a deeper sense of your date's personality.

It doesn't have to be provocative (and you most certainly do not have to have a perfect figure!

), but it gives the impression that you have nothing to hide; confidence is always attractive.

You need to show your interest right away; in the world of online dating you never know how many women one man has contacted, and how quickly the others may express their interest.

If you contact someone and haven't heard back in a week, it's OK to send a second e-mail.

It may sound like serial dating, but if you're interested in really connecting with somebody, then there's nothing wrong with going out with several people at a time." Keep in mind, too, that most of the time you're paying for these sites, so getting your money's worth means being efficient about seeing who's out there.4.

Dating is complicated enough on its own; when you add in the confusion of online dating sites, it can be just plain intimidating. There is a technique to navigating the virtual playing field.

Not to mention effective: Each day, an average of 236 people who met on e get married. So, how do you go from logging on to finding your perfect match?

You may have stopped checking your profile and messages, but has he? Breaking Up If your relationship fizzles after a few dates, it may be tempting to revert back to e-mail to end it. "Don't go down in history as the guy or girl who dumped someone over e-mail, especially when e-mails can be forwarded." Instead, apply the Golden Rule and treat others as you would want to be treated. Safety Taking safety precautions is always crucial, whether you're dating someone you met online or in person.

Until you've had a conversation about retiring your profiles, says Spira, assume that he is still dating other people. Never give out your home phone number or address until you get to know someone, and always choose a public place for your first date.

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