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My brothers started recording as soon as they hit the parking lot.The video camera focused on Dad’s car in the distance.I was no longer living in a world where some of us were entitled to wag a finger of judgment. When I was done I logged out of the account, deleted the hacker program and decided to pretend like it had never happened.I needed to believe the lie and continue being the smiling daughter of a godly man.Dad had sent the time and location for the meet-up, expecting a quickie.When he realized it was his two sons in the car, and not the guy who had responded to his personal ad, he hit the gas and his tires screeched as he took off in the opposite direction.Instead, I downloaded a hacker program that secretly logged all encrypted keystrokes on our family computer. “Gay” was an insult people hurled in the hallways of my middle school — I didn’t realize there were actually men who liked having sex with other men, and I’d never have imagined my father was one of them.

That’s why it was strange when he suddenly started paying attention to me.Mom took me to a doctor and he told me I had ulcers. My body turned against me and refused to give me my period.Every month my Mom would buy more tampons and I’d hide them in the bathroom cabinet with a year’s worth of unopened boxes.She eventually took me to another doctor and he told me I had depression. * * * Two days before I started my freshman year of college my car broke down on the side of the road.Mom was busy at a church fundraiser so Dad came to rescue me.

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