Find dating advice
The connotation that comes with the term "slept with" was recently discussed amongst a group of my friends. The comparison is tempting, but believe me everyone is fighting their own battle.
I see Eve and the Brit and long for a man that makes me soft and keeps me soft.
Twenty years, three children and a dog later, I'm still married to the man who loved me back. The couple who served as my polestars for love shared litter box tasks (and everything else).
My mother, Ingrid Teichner, always said "to love is to be happy with.". That is my advice to myself in midlife, seeking love.
I always felt this to be a simple and beautiful phrase that removes crazy expectations from relationships and keeps perspective on love so simple. The litter box is the litmus test for love and compatibility. "I always thought that love was about desire -- being with someone, holding someone, feeling someone. Love can come in lots of different ways and lots of different guises." That's the British artist Tracey Emin in a May 2012 BBC interview.
She's talking about her experience as a single woman artist nearing 50, but it's a great reminder for all of us, no matter our relationship status or age.
And always remember that this man is the father of your children." And I have always relied on this advice.
-- but it's like compound interest: the more you have the more you get. As Emily Dickinson wrote, "The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience." The most important piece of love advice I ever got was this: "Treat yourself like a prize." The strange part is: I can no longer remember who first passed on the wisdom.Which is to say, not calling too much or being too accommodating to his needs.Conversely, if he fails to call, hold your head high and walk away.The trick to marriage is having faith in the reconnection, waiting for the inevitable closeness again." This was in 1994. And then at the end, we moved too far apart to ever reenter each other's orbits, out of each other's fields of gravity, and that's when I knew it was over. The best advice about love I got from my father, Michael Rockland.He told me that when a married couple fights, no one wins.