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“She doesn’t need to hear about the bad dates you went on,” says Spira,“ or about your conquests either.” Would you want to hear about the guys who took your place? Chocolates, cards and flowers (sent to her office so all her co-workers can get green with envy) are time-honored clichés for a reason: They kind of work. You can learn something here: You have got to step it up and have a plan for the relationship. No woman will rekindle a romance that’s not moving her forward…at least a little bit.But here’s how to make it a legit, not cheesy, gesture: “Write a love letter,” says Frances. Just make sure you can easily break off from the pack to talk.Alisha, from San Antonio, TX, had an ex take that approach—and it worked.“Think about something that you shared together that might warm her heart.” Example: If she responds, she may be open to rekindling the spark. You romanced her once already, but that doesn’t mean you get to go from zero to 60 without even getting behind the wheel. Says Seattle-resident Adria, who took her ex back after a nasty breakup: “He apologized out of the blue after three months of no contact and was very respectful of me. Ask what she’s been up to, how work is going, if her dog is still peeing on the couch—whatever.
You both up and went on with your lives while you were apart—but that doesn’t mean you need to talk about what went down. Tap into your romantic side: While chivalrous acts aren’t the most important thing, they important. “Most of the time, the split is about commitment issues, so you’ve got to be coming back with terms she’ll be happy with.” And even if you’re not ready for the ring?You want to do this right, and that means re-engaging with an abundance of caution and more confidence than ever. “See if she’d like to join you at an art gallery opening, see a movie, or a hike on a sunny day,” says Spira. “If it’s meant to be, she’ll come around on her own time-table.” 4.So here are 10 tips on how to approach her for Round Two. Reconnect with a text: Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder—but other times, it causes that heart to seek out another man. “Try sending a sweet text, not one that will make her think you’re looking for a booty call,” says dating expert Julie Spira. “It will give you the chance to get together in a relaxed environment, without too much pressure.” But remember, accepting your invite is just that—and not a sure sign she wants to get back together. Tell her you miss her: If she accepts your date invite, ease in.“Tell her why you love her and what it is about her that makes her completely special. Be sure YOU know the latest dating dos and don'ts.