Dating area today
It’s like driving to a place you don’t have an address for, but you kind of know where it is. So because I’m a relationship coach, I’m in my head a lot. And that’s the number-one thing that will strip anyone of any experience. Because people are meant to collide, and through these collisions, there is tremendous learning.
Some are stealing them, taking them for joy rides, and leaving them on the side of the road. If you’re a nutritionist, you’re probably not going through drive-throughs at midnight. If we approach dating without these things — I’m not saying it’s easy — dating can actually be rewarding, and meaningful to your growth.
You’ve never been there, but you think you know the area, and so you just go. I’m used to Waze—knowing there is a destination and getting there fast. Then there’s chemistry and magic and all that stuff that isn’t covered in self-help books. It’s all the attachments we paper clip to dating that prevent us from tasting the true nectar of human collisions. This is a pill I’ve struggled to swallow, because I don’t want to get hurt, but I especially don’t want to hurt others.
But therapists have just as many, if not more, “issues” than our clients: John Kim is impatient. If you’re a fitness coach, your fitness standards are higher. What makes dating feel like water torture are expectations, timelines, outcomes, game playing, judgment, pressure, not communicating (leaving people in the dark), and checklists.
But also puts pressure on himself because of what he does.
What could you be doing in the meantime while you're waiting for that person to show up?
What would you be doing if this were your last day on earth?